


I'm Not Okay ( I Promise )

by pirateunderapineapple



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: 3x07, Domestic Fluff, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Nicole Haught Takes Care of Waverly Earp, Nicole is being supportive, waverly's insecurities
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-07-05 14:52:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15865860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pirateunderapineapple/pseuds/pirateunderapineapple
Summary: After the events of 3x07 aka Mamma Earp leaving once more, Waverly feels the need to talk, and so she does, one late night while lying in bed with Nicole.





	I'm Not Okay ( I Promise )

**Author's Note:**

> Heyyyy, so this is my first attempt at writting a fic and english isn't my first language so I'm really sorry for any mistakes ( i'm sure there are a lot) I made!
> 
> Before you read this I wanna point out something. At some point I make Nicole say "the gods" and not "God" and I'm sorry if that offends you in any way. The reason why I did this is because that's how I myself say it. I just keep thinking of the Greek Gods while saying it to be honest- I know it's just mythology but still.
> 
> Anyway, fic title taken from My Chemical Romance's song " I'm Not Okay (I Promise) " because I was listening to it while writting this fic.
> 
> Enjoy!!

They were going through their night routine, like every other night. Since when? Neither of them can really remember. It sort of just happened, without anyone questioning it. Maybe sometimes Wynonna, in her drunken glory, but that was about it. It's not like Nicole had actually moved into the Homestead, not officially at least. She still kept her apartment, which she visited frequently. She had a cat to feed and take care of, after all.  
  
  
Waverly seemed off and, to be honest, Nicole couldn’t really blame her. She had just got her mother back, after almost 20 years of being apart, and now she lost her again. Michelle said she left to go find Julian, her own soulmate, her angel- well, besides Waverly.  
  
  
_This_ Nicole could understand, she really did. She could, because she had found her own soulmate, her own angel, and she knew how it worked. Just the thought of not being with Waverly, being apart, could destroy her, let alone for so many years.  
  
  
What didn’t sit right with Nicole was _the way_ Michelle Gibson did it. The way she abandoned her girls, this time on her own will. No decent mother would just ‘up up and away’ like that, leaving just a note behind and expect someone else-in this case Nicole- to pick up the broken pieces.  
  
  
Because she definitely would have to do that. Waverly was devastated and so was Wynonna, deep inside, despite both of them trying really hard to hide it-and failing miserably.  
  
  
They were now lying in bed, Waverly cuddled at Nicole’s side, her arm over her waist. Nicole was absentmindedly playing with Waverly’s long hair, lost in her own world, when she heard her girlfriend’s voice,  
  
  
“Nicole?”, she would have almost missed it, if it weren’t for the deathly silence. She squeezed Waverly’s shoulder lightly, just to let her know that she was fully awake and listening.  
  
  
“You love me, right?”. Waverly Earp was not a needy person, one to seek reassurance in any opportunity , that was for sure. But she needed to know, now more than ever, that she was actually loved.  
  
  
“Ofcourse I do baby, I love you more than anything in this world”, now Nicole was stroking Waverly’s arm as she gently kissed her forehead, concern filling her eyes.  
  
  
“And you will not leave me? Because I would totally understand it if you wan-” _wait, where did that come from? Oh right…_ “Woah wait wait, leave you?” , the redhead shifted on the bed to face her girlfriend properly. “Waverly Earp, I would never ever leave you, you are stuck with me now, understood?”  
  
  
A small but hesitant smile made its way to the brunette’s lips as she nodded. After a moment of silence Nicole spoke again, “Baby, please talk to me, _I’m here_.”  
  
  
That’s all it took, those three simple words, for Waverly to collapse to Nicole’s arms, tears filling up her green eyes. The redhead did what she did best, comfort Waverly, let her cry, because she needed to.  
  
  
After awhile, in which Nicole was whispering sweet nonsense to Waverly, telling her that _it’s okay_ , to _let it all out_ and _I’ve got you_ , the brunette spoke up again,  
  
  
“Am I a bad person? I mean, I can’t be, right? I was voted the nicest person in Purgatory and I’ve got a sass to prove it.” Nicole chuckled at that which earned her another smile from Waverly, before it faded again.  
  
  
“No no, I’m definitely not a bad person, so why? Why would my own mother just abandon me after being reunited for, how long? Two weeks? That’s how long it took her to get bored of me? To understand that I’m just a history nerd, with no real interests in life and that I’m-oh my god, did she leave because I’m bisexual? Did she not approve or-” _the situation is getting out of hand here…_  
  
  
“Waverly stop, stop! Your mom didn’t leave because you weren’t enough for her and definitely not because she didn’t approve of who you are, and deep inside you know that.”  
  
  
“Yeah, you are right.” Waverly avoided looking Nicole in the eyes, no matter how hard it was, afraid she would catch the doubt written all over hers. Then, with an even smaller voice she said, “ _Then why?_ ”  
  
  
Nicole took a deep breath and held Waverly’s hands between her own, stroking her knuckles with her thumbs. She knew this moment would come, sooner or later. _Here we go I guess._  
  
  
“Your, um, your mother needed some answers. Think about it: she’s been in prison for almost 20 years, haven’t heard from Julian for even more. Wouldn’t you just _want to know_? To find the person you once loved and they loved you back, to see with your own eyes what the gods have done with them?”  
  
  
She didn’t want to defend Michelle, not after what she did to her innocent angel, but she also didn’t want to put all the blame on her. This was not all on her after all, it’s just how things, how _nature_ , works.  
  
  
Without getting any answer, but with the girl now looking at her in the eyes, _searching_ -for what, she wasn’t sure- she continued,  
  
  
“ This-this _need_ was what made your mother leave, and if she doesn’t come back, after having seen what a beautiful human being you have become, then.. then she doesn’t deserve you, Waverly Earp”.  
  
  
Waverly, for her part, was speechless. How could she get so lucky? To have someone who cares for her as much as Nicole does. She never thought she would find _the one_ –being so many years with Champ ‘boy-man’ Hardy does that to you- but here she was, with that person sitting across from her. It just felt so surreal.  
  
  
When she saw those chocolate brown eyes fill with concern once more she realized that she hadn’t spoken for a while. “You are amazing, you know that right?”  
  
  
Nicole blushed at that, any compliment from her girlfriend made her face match with her hair, she just couldn’t help it. “ Nah, just doing my job, you know, being a supportive girlfriend and stuff” she said with a tease in her voice, trying to light the mood.  
  
  
Hearing that made Waverly immediately jump and turn to look at the clock on her nightstand. _1:23 , oh fudge nuggets!_  
  
  
“Oh my god Nicole, it’s late, you have an early shift tomorrow! I’m so sorry, you need sleep, not me babbling about all my insecurities an-” Nicole had to stop her once more, _was this girl for real tho?_  
  
  
“Waverly, honey, it’s fine! I’m here when you need me, whatever the time, okay? As long as you want me I will be by your side, remember? That hasn’t changed, so you are not getting rid of me that easily, Waverly Earp.”  
  
  
For the second time that night, Waverly thought about how lucky she had got. Nicole was right, if her mother didn’t understand and accept her, then she didn’t deserve her.  
  
  
She felt the bed move before hearing her girlfriend’s sweet and sleepy voice, “Come be my little spoon?” Waverly just laughed before moving to do as she was told, “I wouldn’t miss it for the world”-and she meant it.  
  
  
After a moment, Waverly moved slightly to face Nicole, who seemed to be asleep, “Nicole?” , “Mhmm” was all she heard while Nicole snuggled even closer to Waverly.  
  
  
“I love you”  
  
  
There was no verbal response, just Nicole leaning in to kiss Waverly on her shoulder-the closest skin part she could reach- and in all honesty, it was perfect. It was home, and with that thought Waverly drifted off to one of the most peaceful sleeps she has had in a while. _I love you too_

**Author's Note:**

> sooooo, was it bad? terrible? too terrible? Please give me any kind of feedback, I will appreciate it and it will actually help me get better if I want to continue writting any sort of fanfiction.  
> I also have a tumblr with the same username "pirateunderapineapple" , if you wanna drop by and say hi!
> 
> please leave a comment or kudos if you want, love you all!


End file.
